CHAPTER FIVE

“What are you talking about? He actually said that? Why would he want to hurt Ali?”
“You know their history. He’s so jealous of him. Jaime knows I never really loved him. He just can’t handle it. I guess it’s an ego thing. Now, with Ali playing such a big role in Joshua’s and Jonah’s lives, it just eats him.” Rachel’s eyes lit up. “You should see how excited they are when they talk about all the things that Ali does with them. It’s killing him. And of course Ali is successful in a way that he’s not.” Rachel was feeling very nervous telling Fatima all of this. The last thing she wanted was for Fatima and Ali to get involved in her problems. And whether Fatima wanted to see it or not Jamie was a big problem.
“It’s his choice not to be in their lives. What does he want? Them to have nothing? Just sit around waiting for him to show up whenever the wind blows him this way? That’s no life for those boys. He should be grateful someone is taking an interest in his kids and giving them some positive life experiences.” Fatima pushed her cold plate away.
“Maybe someone would be ok, but not Ali. Anyway he says he’s not around for the boys as much as he wants because he’s busy building their future.” Rachel knew how pathetic that sounded, but she really wanted Fatima to calm down and hopefully move onto another topic.
Fatima scoffed at Rachel’s comments. “Oh yes, building their future. They’ll know right where to find him when he’s finished, too, behind bars.”
Rachel was too embarrassed to even reply. She knew everything Fatima said was true and she wanted nothing more than to walk away from Jamie permanently, but he was so persistent. When he was away she was fine. She didn’t even think about him, but when he came around with his sad story, she just felt so weak. If she ever tried to resist him he would get explosive. She just couldn’t handle the outbursts.
Somehow she also feared making a mistake. What if he could change and be a good father to her boys. Did she have the right to give up on that? Didn’t her boys deserve a chance at having a family? Then there was always the fear that he would move on to someone else. Then she would look like the idiot, stuck with his kids while he went off and had a new family. She knew it made no sense but these were the issues she had to get over before she could truly move on in her life.
“Fine, they have this long standing rivalry, but what makes you think he really would do something to harm him?” Fatima pressed Rachel for more answers.
“I don’t remember his exact words, but I believed him.” Rachel twisted uncomfortably in her seat.
Fatima was silent as she processed everything she had just heard. “Rachel, did you make the list?”
Fatima was always talking about her prayer list. Mama had one and they had even gotten Naomi to start one. Fatima insisted that if Rachel made a list and prayed over it every day, she would be amazed at the miracles that would happen in her life.
“I promise you if you pray on that list, one by one you will be crossing things off and thanking God for hearing and answering your prayers.”
“Yah well maybe for you, but not me.” Rachel started to pick at her food again.
“Why not you? It works for me, and everyone else, but not you? You really think you’re that bad?” Fatima teased.
“Fatima, you know it’s just not my thing.” Rachel took a bite of her food.
“If that were true you wouldn’t be my friend.” Fatima smiled at Rachel with tenderness.
“Next topic.” Rachel cut Fatima off abruptly. This was one area she was not going to get into now. Praying was hard for her since her father had died. She had prayed so hard for him to recover from his accident and come back home. It hadn’t happened. Now they had to live a life without him. They had suffered so much since his death that Rachel just had a blockage when it came to prayer. She knew it worked for some people, but she just didn’t know how to make it work for herself.
“Ok, next topic.” Fatima reached across the table and held Rachel’s hands. “I am going to ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth, no matter what it is, ok?” Fatima sounded so serious that Rachel felt uneasy.
“Ok.”
Fatima took a deep breath. “Your baby, was it Jamie’s?” Fatima kept her eyes on Rachel’s face.
Rachel heard the key in the door behind her and felt relief. She didn’t like the direction of this conversation. On the other side of the door Ali paused and when Fatima gave him the ok he entered the house.
“As-salaam alaikum.”
“Wa alaikum as-salaam,” Fatima replied without taking her eyes off Rachel.
“Hey Ali, how was the game?” Rachel was eager to hear about Joshua’s first day on the field. She was so grateful that Ali had stepped up and taken on the responsibility of her sons. At least she had made one good decision in her life, having him as a friend.
Ali bent to take off his shoes. “Incredible! I just dropped them home. They must be talking your mother’s ear off right now. They were so excited. Joshua is good! You should see him handle the ball. I think you have a little star on your hands.” Ali was beaming with obvious pride.
“Really? I should go see them.” Rachel tried to get up, but Fatima would not release the grip on her hands.
“I’ll see you later,” Ali said to Rachel. He turned and headed up the stairs.
“Ali,” Rachel called to him as he mounted the stairs.
“Yes Rachel.” Ali paused and looked back.
“Mom loves her kitchen. It’s amazing.”
He smiled. “I’m glad.” He turned and disappeared up the stairs.
Fatima pulled Rachel towards her across the table and whispered, “Answer me.”
“I shouldn’t even answer you,” Rachel replied in an angry whisper. “Of course he is. What kind of a person do you take me for?”
Fatima released her grip on Rachel. “Just forget it. I don’t really know what I’m saying.”
“I can’t even believe you could ask me something like that. What are you really suggesting? You know what? I don’t even want to know. I’m just going home.” Rachel got up. “My life is getting crazier by the minute.”
“Listen, forget it. I just, I don’t know, so many things have happened in the last two days that I just don’t feel like myself.” Fatima was starting to blush.
“Well, I guess you are entitled. You are hormonal.” Rachel was happy to drop the subject. She didn’t even want to imagine what was going through Fatima’s mind. “Just don’t go getting freaky weird on me.” Rachel’s voice was starting to soften.
“I’m sorry, I feel really stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Fatima was obviously embarrassed.
“Well, I have dumped a lot on you too. That wasn’t fair.” Rachel reached out and touched Fatima’s shoulder. “This was really bad timing. Look my boys are waiting for me and your husband is waiting for you, so I’m going home.”
“Okay,” Fatima nodded.
“You get some rest and take care of Mr. Abati’s baby.” Rachel allowed herself to smile again. “I don’t want him blaming me for stressing you out.”
“Good night Rachel, kiss the boys for me.”
“Bye.” Rachel touched Fatima’s cheek and left. Fatima closed the door behind her.

“What is happening to my life?” Rachel thought out loud, as she walked across the street to her house. She dreaded going there. Everything reminded her of her father. She felt guilty leaving her mother alone as much as she did, but nothing was the same without him. Naomi wasn’t even the same. Rachel really missed him now. If only he were here she would know what to do. She had always felt so safe with him. Now nothing was right and nowhere was safe. Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. She had some things to add to her list.

Inside the house Fatima could still feel her cheeks burning. What had she been thinking asking Rachel such a question? She really needed to rest. Leaving the girls with Mama and Papa was starting to sound like a good idea.
She stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up. Ali was likely packing a bag and getting ready to go catch his flight. Rachel had been a pleasant distraction, now back to her life. She looked up the stairs, but didn’t think she had the strength to climb them. It was getting harder for her these days. Sleeping on the couch was sounding good. She hated sleeping alone anyway. Ali appeared at the top of the stairs, with a bag over his shoulder. He wore blue jeans, a button-down shirt and a brown suede jacket.
“Do you need a hand?” He smile warmly at her, but she was not in the mood for his pleasantries.
“No, actually I was heading towards the couch.” Fatima turned and made her way to the family room and sat in the arm chair closest to the entrance. The pressure of the last two days coupled with Ali’s impending departure was too much for her. She leaned back and closed her eyes.
“It’s not what you’re thinking.” Ali’s voice was coming from the doorway directly behind Fatima.
“And how do you know what I’m thinking?” Ali had now pulled up an ottoman and was sitting by her side. Fatima opened her eyes to meet his gaze.
“Because of these,” he curled his fingers and gently pressed them to the corner of her eye, “and these,” he repeated it on the other eye. When he pulled his hand away his fingers held the moisture from the tears Fatima was trying to hold back.
“You know how I am when I’m pregnant. I’m just a little emotional.” She was embarrassed. He could always read her so well.
“I know. That’s why I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
Fatima stared straight ahead and through the back window. “I hate to think that we have secrets between us. If there’s some kind of problem I should know.”
“We have no secrets. I don’t want you to think that” Ali pulled his seat a little closer.” Listen I have never had to ask you this before, but I’m dealing with something right now and I just need you to give me some time. Can you do that?”
Fatima looked straight ahead. “You’re going to miss your flight.”
“I need to make sure you’re alright.”
“And if I am not?” She turned to look at him again.
“Then you should tell me.”
“I’m fine.” Fatima continued to look at Ali and in spite of all she was feeling she started to smile.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Like what?” Fatima asked innocently.
“You tell me.”
“I was just remembering something; something the ladies were saying about you today.”
“Oh? Ladies talking about me? What else is new?” Ali smiled although his clear brown eyes still had the heaviness Fatima had seen in them earlier today when he first told her about his trip.
“Aren’t we modest?” Fatima hit him with a cushion.
“Look, I have to go. Are you going to get the girls? I’ll drop you over there.” Ali stood up and held out his hand.
“No, I think I’ll wait a few minutes. I just want to rest.”
“I don’t feel good leaving you alone. Let’s go. We’ll move slowly.”
“Really, I just want a few minutes by myself,” Fatima insisted.
Ali reluctantly agreed. “Fine, I’ll call you in a little while.”
“Inshallah.” Fatima closed her eyes and leaned back again. “Ali did you tell your parents you were leaving.” Fatima called out to him before he went through the door.
“I spoke to my dad, but I had to duck out before Mama caught me. You know she would drill me.” Ali smiled and Fatima couldn’t help but smile back. After he had left she relaxed and fell asleep.

The telephone rang waking her up. It was Ali calling from the airport. He was about to board his flight and was suggesting that she leave the girls with Mama and Papa and get them in the morning. He said he had already talked to them about it. She agreed. After she hung up the phone she prayed, then she transferred to the couch and pulled a blanket over herself. A piece of paper fell out of the blanket when she lifted it. Fatima knew what it was. Ali always left notes around the house when he travelled. The couch was one of his regular spots. He never forgot to do it. Fatima always wondered how he managed to do it without her noticing. She opened the piece of paper. I’ll miss you, it said.
“I’ll miss you more,” she whispered. She pulled up the blanket and went to sleep.

NEXT POST ON WEDNESDAY....thanks to those who are following the chapters. I will decide how many sample chapters to post depending on readership. If you are following and would like to read more (a little more :)) let me know.