The next morning Fatima woke up and looked around as she stretched in her bed. She had intentionally chosen a masculine style for the room. Dark furniture draped with solid colour fabrics brought a strong manly energy to the space. She also usually used duvets and bedding in solid colours, plaids or stripes.
Ali spent so much time travelling that when he wasn’t she wanted him to feel at home. She wanted him to feel completely connected to this room and at peace when he was here. She never encouraged the children to sleep with them, not even when they were babies. They always slept in their rooms. Ali did feel sorry for them sometimes and allow them in on rare occasions. Fatima only permitted them to hang out on the mornings that the family had time to lounge.
She did have some feminine markers in the room as well.The custom blinds were covered with sheer curtains, and on her side of the bed was a soft fluffy rug. She had a couch decorated with large soft cushions. Salt lamps sat on either side of the bed and she always had candles and aromatherapy oils nearby. It was her favourite room in the house.
The events of the last night seemed to be a world away. Ali had not wanted to discuss it when they came home. He just wanted to put it all aside for the time being. Fatima had agreed to keep her focus on her family when she was in her home and leave the outside world beyond her front door.
She was not going to let the events of the evening rob her of precious time. It was Ali’s last night home and no one was going to ruin it. This approach was, sometimes, the only way to keep her sanity and ensure that her and her husband could outride the in-evitable storms and challenges that would arise in their relationship.
As she stretched she looked up at the writing on the ceiling.
You are...
The Answer to my Prayers...
The Fulfillment of my Dreams...
The Direction of my Destiny...
Ali had written it for her, but it reflected her feelings exactly. It had always been such a comfort to her whether he was home or not, but somehow today it made her feel sad. Things were not the same anymore. She had not mentioned Ali’s recent trip out of town, but it was on her mind. She wondered when she would learn about what had been so urgent. She would not bring it up now, but in time he would have to discuss it with her.
Ali would be leaving this morning and not returning until Fri-day. It was always hard to say good-bye, but this time would be more difficult. She really felt like she needed him to be with her right now. When he was with her she didn’t need to think. His presence would block out all her negative thoughts, fears and wor-ries. When he was gone all she did was think.
She missed the days of travelling with him and often won-dered if she had had the children too early. Ali had wanted to wait. They were young, he had said, and had a lot of time but Fatima had been so eager to try and have a son. After having Masuma and facing the realities of parenting, she decided waiting would be a good idea. And then dreams of a boy resurfaced, and along came the twins.
She didn’t even want to think about what this baby might be. She had refused to find out the sex of the baby although the sus-pense sometimes was unbearable.
She leaned over to look at the table beside her bed. She had already found four of the papers that Ali had placed around the house. The first one had the number 7 written on it. The other three papers had one letter each, an n and two e’s. She had placed the four papers in a line on her bedside table. She still needed to find the others to decode the message. Ali had promised her a special gift if she found all of them before he returned.
Fatima had her week fulling planned. She would study in the mornings and then take her daughters out in the afternoon. She had several people she wanted to visit with before her period of con-finement started and she wanted to look for outfits for Rachel’s boys in case Rachel decided to send them to the wedding next week. She would be with Naomi and her church sisters on Friday and then Ali would be home.
She glanced at her clock. She wasn’t sure if she should expect Ra-chel this morning, but she would be ready just in case.
At precisely seven thirty the door bell rang. It was Rachel. She held up a bouquet of flowers as a peace offering.
“How did you find flowers at this time of the morning?” Fa-tima asked as she graciously accepted the gift.
“Oh, I have my ways.”
Rachel came in and closed the door behind her. She was wearing a blue, grey and black plaid skirt, a black sweater and a black leather jacket. She wore her hair curly and looked much younger as a re-sult. “I need to talk to you about last night.”
“Come in.”
When they were both seated in the living room Rachel started speaking. “You know I would never do anything to hurt you, Fati-ma. I only came over because I had a really messed up day and I needed to talk to Ali, that’s all. You know he has this different way of looking at things. I just needed to hear what he had to say. I would never do anything to harm you or your family.” Rachel looked Fatima directly in the eyes.
Rachel continued, “And I am so sorry about that stupid com-ment I made about you not trusting Ali. That was so mean and disgusting of me. We both know he is perfectly trustworthy and you would never have any reason to doubt him. I’m so sorry.”
“Never say never.” Fatima placed the flowers on the table in front of her.
“Don’t say that Fatima.You guys are perfect and I can’t even handle anything less than that today, so don’t even go there.” Ra-chel finally took a breath.
“Oh sure, I wouldn’t want to upset you now, would I?” Fati-ma continued, “So tell me, what happened that had you so upset?”
Rachel told Fatima about the meeting with Brigitte, about Ja-mie following her and Ali and Jamie’s plans to take the boys.
“So you told Ali all this?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Either you did or you didn’t,” Fatima pressed.
“I didn’t.” Rachel looked down.
“Why not?” Fatima was shocked and slightly confused.
“I don’t know, I just felt kind of overwhelmed. What will Ali do when he finds out?” Rachel glanced in Fatima’s direction.
“Well, I don’t know, but he needs to know that he’s being stalked, don’t you think?” Fatima’s eyes were wide.
“You’re going to tell him?” Rachel chewed the inside of her lip.
“Of course I’m going to tell him. What if he’s in danger? How could you keep this from him? What did you come over for if not to tell him this?”
“I don’t know. I was just babbling, really.” Rachel looked down at her lap, folding and unfolding a corner of her jacket.
Fatima furrowed her brow and assessed Rachel. She believed that Rachel’s apology was sincere but she did notice that Rachel suddenly had trouble meeting her gaze. She knew Rachel too well. Rachel didn’t have to tell her why she had come over. It was obvious. And Fatima would never forget the words Rachel had said last night.‘You have everything. I just wanted a few minutes.’ Anyway, that wasn’t important now. This news about Jamie was going to have to take precedence.
“Don’t you think it’s about time you talked to the police, or at least saw a lawyer? You have to do something, Rachel. Shawn is really great, maybe you should talk to him.”
“I don’t know.” Rachel struggled with this issue. She was so afraid of making waves.
“What are you going to do? Wait until Jamie really goes ber-serk around here? You have two little boys, Rachel; and your mom. It’s not just about you.”
Rachel knew Fatima was right.
“This is not going to go away. You have to meet it head on or else it is going to blow up in your face. We’re all here for you, you can do this.”
“I’m not like you Fatima, I can’t.”
“Yes you can and you have to. Things are getting out of hand and you have to take action. I know you’re scared. You just move forward anyway. We’re going to support you. We have so many resources. You can get the best lawyers. You can have all kinds of security and protection. There is no limit to what we would do for you.You just have to say the word. But it has to come from you.”
Silence fell between them as Rachel soaked in Fatima’s words. She knew Fatima was right and she agreed it was time for her to do something now. She had to. The first step was just the hardest.
“I went to see my dad.”
Fatima eyes misted. “That’s wonderful. How was it?’
“Good. It was really good.” Rachel dabbed at the tears that where gathering in her eyes.
“You should go more often. Regularly. Maybe it will give you the strength you need right now.”
Rachel nodded then quickly changed the subject. “So you’re going to tell Ali?”
“Absolutely.”
“Ok, I’m going to think about everything you said. Really, I’m going to think about it.”
“Good. Anyway, time is passing. Let’s get started.” Fatima reached for the dua books she had put on the table.
First they started with Hadith e Kisa /The Story of the Cloak. Fatima explained briefly to Rachel. “One of the things I love about this hadith is the way the family members speak to each other. Imam Ali doesn’t call his wife, ‘Fatima’, he calls her ‘Daughter of the Prophet’ and she, in turn, doesn’t refer to him simply as ‘Ali,’ she uses his full title, ‘Commander of the Faithful.’
“When they speak to their children it is with so much love and tenderness, it reminds us that those we are supposed to be most respectful to are the members of our household and not the outside people, the way we usually are.
“It is said that whenever this hadith is read, the angels come down and encircle the people, praying for their forgiveness until the gathering disperses and Allah answers requests made at that time. So, I really love this.”
The two ladies spent the remainder of their hour together read-ing and listening to various duas and Quran. Fatima and Rachel both made their own specific supplications, and when Rachel left to go to work Fatima prepared to give Ali the news.
“I know.”
“You know?” Fatima sat on the longue chair in her bedroom. “How did you know and when were you going to tell me?”
“I didn’t want to worry you.” Ali walked into his closet to get his clothes.
“The more things you keep from me the more worried I get.” Fatima raised her voice slightly to make sure he heard her.
He stepped back through the door way. “I just found out last night. Shawn has a private investigator working on my case and this is what he came up with so far.”
“That was fast.”
“He has good men.” Ali disappeared into the closet again.
“Ali, could you just sit down for a second and talk to me?” Fatima hated when he behaved like this.
Ali returned to the room, stopped getting dressed and sat on the bed facing Fatima.
“What else do you need to tell me?” Fatima asked.
“It’s just what Rachel said, Jamie is following us in an attempt to stir up trouble.When we have more evidence then we can take action.”
“What kind of action?”
“Don’t worry, Fatima.”
“This is my family, and all you can say is, ‘don’t worry?” Do you think that’s reasonable? Now you’re leaving. How do you ex-pect me to feel?”
“You’ll be safe when I’m away. I’ve made sure of it,” Ali said.
“Oh, when were you going to clue me in to what’s going on?”
“I tell you what I think you need to know,” he replied without changing his facial expression.
“How manly of you.” She was deliberately sarcastic, knowing how much he hated it.
“I am what I am, Fatima. I’m not going to come to you with every little problem to stress you out when you can’t do anything about it anyway.”
“I just want to feel included. If something involves me or the family. I just want to know. It’s important to me. And how do you know I can’t do anything? I have a brain, I have ideas too.”
Ali glanced at the clock. “Ok, what do you want to know?”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Ali. I’m trying to communicate with you, here.” Ali could be so warm at times and then suddenly shift to being so distant, often with no warning. “Well, did the in-vestigator find out anything else? Related to your case I mean.” She could not bring herself to say the word ‘paternity.’
“Well, I studied the photos, and it looks like my pictures were cropped from pictures that we took last summer when we went on vacation.” Ali said.
“How would someone have had access to them?”
“I had emailed them to my cousins, so who knows. If some-one got into my email then they could get it, I guess.”
“What about the emails?” Fatima questioned.
“They were all sent between midnight and 2 am. You know I’m always sleeping at that time.”
She knew that was true. She had never known Ali to stay up much past 10 pm. He would sleep even earlier if he could. He al-ways woke up early, extremely early, but never before 2 am.
“Well, someone knows your schedule.What about the re-ceipts?” Fatima continued.
“The dates are right. I was at those hotels.” Ali stood and walked around the room. “I don’t know how anyone got a hold of them, or if they are even the originals. The team is still working on that.”
“I see. Anything else?”
“No, that’s about it for now.”
So he is still being tight lipped about his trip, Fatima thought. She wanted to ask about the paternity test, but the words could not pass her lips. As if Ali could read her mind he said, “Shawn is still researching the best company to do the DNA test with. You know, to make sure everything goes smoothly.”
Fatima nodded. “Ok, I just wish you felt comfortable to share with me. You shouldn’t be dealing with this by yourself.” She was trying to be supportive although she really wished she could jump somewhere into the future to a time when this would no longer matter.
Ali recalled the way Fatima’s mood had changed when he had re-minded her that Shawn was coming over to discuss the case. He also recalled the look on her face when Shawn had left the house. How could he keep bringing up an issue that he knew disturbed her so much? “I can handle it.” He stood up and pulled his shirt over his head.
“I know you can handle it, Ali.That’s not the point. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me or value me when you don’t tell me things. I’m your wife. I want to be there for you.”
“You are. You’re there in the way that I need; it just may not be what you think I need.”
“What about what I need?”
Ali squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head back. When he brought it forward his eyes were heavy. “I’m trying Fatima. I am trying.”
Fatima knew that he was. “Ok, ok, let’s leave it for now. Thanks for telling me everything. I really appreciate it.” Fatima smiled as she thought about his impending departure. “Anyway, I want you to leave happy.”
Ali smiled back. “Impossible.”
After Ali and Fatima had fed and dressed the children, they said their goodbyes and Ali departed amidst a torrent of hugs and kisses from the little ladies of his house. He then crossed the street to say goodbye to his parents. Fatima turned in to start studying. She had a full day ahead of her, but she knew that no matter how busy she was Friday could not come soon enough.
, by Marci Shimoff. It was a delightful book, full of personal case studies as well as scientific studies about researched and proven ways to live happier lives. I received a wealth of very practical information. One of the things I loved the most was the instruction to sleep before ten, preferably by nine. The author said if you are feeling depressed, sad or out of sorts you should go to bed early for 3 days in a row and enjoy the positive effects of this happiness habit. She calls it "The 10 o'clock Angel Train." I love it! So simple, yet it is something that most of us take for granted. I know my days always start and proceed much better when I have had enough rest. What about you?