CHAPTER NINE

Ali had already been up for over an hour and Fajr was approaching. Before going to his father’s house he stopped in the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Fatima would be awake in a little while and she loved her tea. He let it cool for a few minutes then poured it into a thermal cup and covered it. It would be just right for her now. She had a sensitive mouth and couldn’t eat or drink anything too hot.
He smiled when he thought of how much she still reminded him of that little eight year old girl he had met so many years ago. Even then she had been mature although she had been small for her age. She was as cute as a doll and smart too. Rachel had followed her everywhere. Of course he hadn’t thought about marriage at that age, but by the time he was 15 or 16 he was sure she was to be his wife. His parents had been pleased with his choice. Rahma had been so excited to have a ‘sister’ that she immediately started calling Fatima Sorella, the Italian word for sister.
Fatima had every positive quality he could imagine. If she had a negative quality it was that she tended to be a little emotional. He didn’t quite understand that side of her, it was so unlike the way he handled his life. They had agreed to ignore one negative trait of the other person, so he let it go.
There was one other thing he opted to give her a pass on. It was the thing that really drove him nuts. He hadn’t told her but he never understood how frazzled she would get when they had to get ready to go anywhere. She was usually so organized, but when she had to get dressed she lost it.
She couldn’t ever figure out what to wear. Clothes would be everywhere and she would get irritated with anyone who tried to hurry her. If she had to eat the kitchen would be a disaster. If she had to get the kids ready or apply make-up, good night. Wherever she went in the house would be turned upside-down. Forget about time. He was always ready first and waiting. Ali couldn’t get it. Just get dressed and go. She looked good in everything anyway. Still, he never mentioned it lest he amplify the confusion. The last thing he wanted was to slow her down.
Yes, her emotional nature disturbed him but it also made her more endearing to him. It made him want to protect her. Not just physically, but also emotionally. He wanted to protect her heart. He knew he had failed. He had let her down this time.
In all the years he had known her he had never seen her hurt or this upset because of him. It was unnerving. He had really messed up, and he knew it. If only he had intercepted the mail this whole thing would have gone down differently.
He shook his head to try and erase the memory of the look on her face when he had walked in the door after his run. Seeing her so disturbed had shaken him. He had tried to comfort her, but she wouldn’t let him near her. He lived to please her, see her smile, know that he had made her happy. Now he was the cause of her distress.
He would fix it. He had already spoken to Shawn. Shawn knew Ali well and he knew Fatima. He would know how to handle this in the best way. Ali trusted that.
Ali pulled a piece of paper from the drawer and wrote a single number on it. 7. In the corner he wrote 1/9. He placed the paper beside the cup of tea. Fatima would know that there were 9 papers to be found and she would have to find them all to decode the message. She loved this game the most and Ali loved initiating it. He wouldn’t be leaving until tomorrow but he sometimes took a head start with the notes. It kept Fatima on her toes.
Ali moved towards the door and reached for his shoes. Fatima’s size six shoes were beside his size 12. Even though she was half his size she was tough. He really enjoyed training her as a result. He knew that she believed that he was so adamant about her training because he was concerned about her safety, but that was only a small part of the truth. Ali had complete confidence in her ability to handle herself with or without formal training.
The spirit was the most important; far more important than any physical ability and underneath her soft emotional exterior she had the strongest spirit of anyone he knew, besides his mother. Rachel was the exact opposite. She had the natural physical advantage, but no heart. If she could put the two together she would be an awesome fighter.
The truth was training Fatima was a pure delight for him. She was a quick study; she listened well and wasn’t afraid to try new routines. He had to remember not to push her too much, because she never refused a challenge. She was strong, fast and could hit hard. When he sparred with her she really challenged him and he loved it. He wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of her fight, that was for sure.
Ali checked to make sure all was straight in the kitchen and walked out the door. The air was cool and crisp and he could hear the birds starting their song. It was one of his favourite sounds. He loved the way the earth slowly came to life at this time of the morning. If he ever happened to miss it, he felt off kilter until the next morning. He felt sorry for those who slept through this most precious time of day. He crossed the street to his father’s house.

He looked at the front porch of Rachel’s house and was shocked to see Rachel asleep in a chair. He approached the house and gently called Rachel’s name. She stirred and then opened her eyes.
“Rachel, what are you doing out here? You weren’t here all night were you?” Ali was really beginning to be very concerned about Rachel.
“Uh, yes, no. I just came out for some fresh air and I guess I fell asleep.” She sat up and rubbed her arms.” She was obviously cold. “What time is it?” she asked.
“It’s about 5:15. Are you ok?” Ali asked.
“I’m fine. I just had a lot of things on my mind. You know how it is.”
Ali nodded. He knew that Rachel had a lot of things going on in her life. It hurt him to see what she had been through. Still he wasn’t going to pry. It was better if she talked to Fatima about these things. He could see by her puffy eyes that she had fallen asleep crying. “Ok. You should go inside now. It’s cold. You’ll get sick.” He stepped forward and put one foot on the first step of the porch.
“I’m ok. I think I’ll do that in a minute.” She was still trying to gather her senses.
Ali shook his head. “I’m not leaving you out here and I’m not staying out here with you either.”
“Ok boss,” Rachel answered with mock sarcasm. She rose to her feet.
“You’re welcome to come in with me if you would rather not go home yet.” Ali motioned toward his parent’s house.
“Oh no, I shouldn’t. I mean I should go in case the boys get up or something, you know. Anyway, I would have to explain to your parents why I was out here in the first place.”
Ali shrugged casually. “It’s up to you.” He waited to see her turn in before he would leave his position at the bottom of the stairs.
Rachel stopped with her hand on the door. “Ali?”
“Yes.”
“Is everything ok with you?” Rachel asked.
“Sure. Why?”
“I just wondered. That’s all. Well, in case you ever need to talk or anything, I’m still here.” In that moment she realized how much she missed him. They used to have such a free and comfortable relationship.
Since he and Fatima had gotten married she could not remember having had one real conversation with him; not the way they had before. She always felt like things had changed somehow. Ali had become slightly distant. It was a subtle change, nothing obvious, but she could feel it. They had never discussed it, but the shift made her feel uncomfortable, almost silly in his presence. She hated it and longed for the kind of rapport they had enjoyed before. These few moments were like gold to her.
“Thanks Rachel. I know that,” Ali answered.
Rachel fluttered her eyes in surprise. “You do?”
Ali turned his eyes down, and replied, “Yes, I do.”
Rachel was a little caught off guard by his candid response. “Oh, ok then. Well, I’ll see you later.” Rachel pointed to her door. “I guess I’ll just go inside now.”
“Good idea.” He kept his eyes on the steps in front of him.
Ali waited until Rachel was safely in her house then he turned and walked toward his old home.



Inside his father was waiting for him by the door and they greeted each other with hugs and kisses. Ali noticed that his father held him a little tighter than usual and his mother was uncharacteristically quiet. Still they were both warm and loving. Rahma hugged him and kissed him as usual. They all prayed and Ali read a dua as they usually requested of him and Mama cried as she often did at the sound of his voice.
As soon as he felt the time was right Papa led Ali into his study. The study was decorated in the dark rich colours of brown and burgundy. The mahogany shutters matched the bookshelves and large desk that Papa worked from daily. “Sit son,” Papa said to him.
Ali pulled out a seat. There was one chair in the study reserved for him. It was a large black leather arm chair and the one most comfortable for him. Ali and Papa had had many important conversations in this room. Ali stood and waited for his father to seat himself behind his neatly organized desk and then followed suit.
Papa placed in front of him a printout from the internet. It detailed the story of the pending lawsuit. Ali dropped his shoulders. This was going to get messier than he expected and a lot faster than he could have imagined.
“Rahma does a search on your name every day. Maybe several times a day.” Papa laughed, and then he became serious again. “She found this last night.”
“Rahma, saw this? Oh no. I need to talk to her.” Ali was devastated that his little sister had read about the law suit.
“Wait, wait. Me first.” Papa patiently waited for Ali to speak.
“Papa, I’m going to see Shawn today and take care of this.”
Papa clasped his hands and brought them to his face. He looked over at Ali. His stare was intense. Finally he nodded. “And Fatima?”
Ali felt his chest tighten. “She’s upset.” He then went into the details of what had happened the day before.
“How could you let this happen?”
Ali was taken aback. “What do you mean? Papa, you know I didn’t expect this and there’s no way it can be true. Anyway, I told you I ‘m going to deal with this.”
“You should have protected Fatima from this. How could you let her find out like that?”
Ali stroked the arms of his seat. “Well, I didn’t know-”
“It’s your business to know what goes on in your house.”
Ali remained silent. His father was right. He had messed up and he knew it. His father’s disappointment was too much to bear. He looked down at the desk.
Papa continued, “So what now?”
“Well, like I said I’m going to see Shawn.”
Papa waved his hand in the air. “No, no I mean what about your wife? It matters little what happens with this case. Damage has already been done to Fatima. Can you imagine the shock that went through her body when she took that letter from your daughter’s hand? Do I need to remind you that she is pregnant and due in days?”
“No Papa. I know. I know everything.”
“Hmm, you do? So what will you do now?”
“I don’t know.” He really wasn’t sure how to reach Fatima. He couldn’t reverse what had happened and he wasn’t sure how she would be feeling this morning. It was a delicate situation. He wanted to reassure her, but he wasn’t sure if he may inadvertently cause her more distress by doing or saying the wrong thing.
Papa got up from his seat and walked over to his son. Ali started to stand. Papa motioned for him to remain seated and then held Ali’s face with one hand. He gently but firmly shook Ali’s head. “Is your name Ali Abati?”
“Yes, Papa.”
“Are you my son?”
“Of course.”
“Then you will know what to do.” He released his hold and firmly patted the side of Ali’s face. before walking toward the door. Before he left he turned and said to Ali, “Remember your family is your world. Put your focus there.”
Ali remained seated for a long time after his father had left. He absorbed his father’s words. “It’s your business to know what goes on in your house,” he had said. Yes, he was the Imam of his home and responsible for everyone and everything in it. He had work to do for sure.
“Hey big brother,” Rahma said as she peaked into the study.
“Hey you, come here.” Ali swirled in the large arm chair and extended his hand. Rahma came and sat on his knee and put her head on his shoulder. Her mass of curly brown hair fell behind his back. She was tall, but she still enjoyed cuddling up to her brother as she had when she was a small child. “I am so sorry you had to see that stuff,” he said.
“Don’t worry I don’t believe a word of it. I know they’re all liars,” she said adamantly.
“Yah, and how do you know that?” Ali was moved by her loyalty.
“Well, I know you. I know you would never do something like that.” She looked him straight in the eye.
“You sure?” Ali asked her.
“Yes. I’m sure,” Rahma said, definitively.
Ali kissed her head. “Ok, I don’t want you to worry about it. I’m going to take care of it. I’m going to handle it.” Rahma listened intently. “Now in the next little while you might be hearing a lot of talk about this. I want you to ignore all of it. If you need to know anything you come straight to me. Got it?”
“Yes.” Rahma seemed relieved. Her dark brown eyes sparkled with love and admiration for her brother.
Ali continued, “Now what is this I hear about you doing searches on my name every day?”
“Well, not every single day, but I have to know what’s being said about you,” Rahma replied.
Ali rubbed her back. “Well, it’s the internet and anybody can write anything. It may not all be good for you to read. Hey, Mama let’s you spend that much time online?”
“She’s usually there with me, but sometimes she has her own work to do. Anyway she trusts me.”
“Well, I’m going to have to have a little talk with her,” Ali replied.
“Great, I think that’s my cue to leave.” Rahma stood up. “I love you Ali.”
“You too,” he replied.
Rahma left the room. Ali leaned forward and closed his eyes. He rubbed his hands over the top of his head. His short hair bristled under the movement of his fingers. He didn’t hear her enter but there was no mistaking a mother’s touch. Mama stood behind her son and slipped her hands onto his chest. Ali held her hands and squeezed, as though squeezing them could give him the strength he needed; the strength of his mother, and her mother and father, and all those that had gone before them.
Mama started speaking slowly. “You know when you were born, the midwife had said, ‘This chest, this is the chest of a warrior.’ She said she had never seen such a strong developed chest on a newborn. People walked from all the neighbouring villages to see this baby with the chest of a warrior. I prayed that day that God would fill your chest with love, compassion and bravery. Love for all that is good; compassion for all those fortunate to be in your care, and bravery to always do what is right. No matter what the cost. When you were given the name Ali and I learned who Imam Ali (as) was, I knew my prayers had been answered. Connect with your Holy Prophet and your Imams, all of them and learn from their examples. You will know what to do.
Ali stood and guided his mother into his seat then leaned on his father’s desk. “Thank-you Mama. You always know what to say.” He paused while he thought about what he wanted to say next. “Can I ask you something?”
“Certainly.” Her brown eyes remained warm.
“It might be personal,” Ali warned her.
“Go on,” she urged.
“If Papa ever hurt you, how did you get past it?”
Mama inhaled and let out her breath slowly. She looked at her son with sadness in her eyes. “It has never happened.”
“Really?” Ali was shocked and disappointed.
“Never. I wish I could help you.” She was truly sorry. “In 30 years of marriage your father has never hurt me. Confused me, yes. Frustrated me, sure. But he has never hurt my feelings or caused sadness or disappointment to enter my heart. Never. Not once.”
“Wow.” Ali didn’t know what else to say.
“Your father is a man of few words. You know that. He is an excellent listener. He thinks before he speaks and acts.” She laughed. “He would rather remain quiet and miss saying the right thing, than to speak and risk saying the wrong thing. It’s harder to hurt people when you behave like that.”
“Ok well, what if he had? What would you need to get past it?” Ali asked.
“Honesty, openness, vulnerability.” She reached for Ali’s hands again. “Fatima loves you. Desperately. Since her childhood. She wants her family. She wants her marriage. She wants you. That’s why she was so devastated by this news. Just reassure her that she still has all of that.”
Ali stood and lifted his mother off her feet. He hugged her and held her tightly to him. “Thank-you Mama. Thank-you”
“It was my deepest pleasure, my beautiful son.” He put her down and she kissed his chest.
“I think I need to go home now,” he said.
“It’s about time.” Her eyes sparkled.
Before Ali left the house they all hugged him again and sent their love to Fatima. He felt like he could take on the world.

When he arrived at home the smell of roses greeted him at the door. Knowing there were no roses in the house he realized that it must be the oil he had bought Fatima two days before. He walked through the foyer, down the hall and into the family room. When he entered the room he saw that Fatima had fallen asleep where she had prayed Fajr. That happened to her a lot these days since she was naturally tired being at the end of her pregnancy. He moved closer and he could see the empty tea cup by her side and one of her hands closed around the paper he had left on the counter.
Ali bent and gently lifted Fatima. Even with the added weight of her pregnancy she felt like nothing in his arms. She stirred. “Ali?”
Ali pulled back his head to look at her. “Who else would it be?”
“You’re silly,” she whispered.
“Shhh, shhh, sleep,” Ali said.
He brought her to their room, placed her in bed and tucked her in. “Fatima, I am so sorry for everything. I can’t imagine what you must have felt when you received that letter. I should never have allowed that to happen. I should have been the one to tell you. I’m sorry I couldn’t do or say anything to make it better for you. I was just so shocked myself. I didn’t really know what to say. I’m sorry I let you down. I am so sorry.”
Her breathing remained even and Ali was not sure if she had heard him or not. He got up to leave the room and as he walked through the doorway he heard her ever so softly say, “Thank you.”